Well...i just woke up from a 3 hour nap. I thought I was truly on my way to getting over it...and maybe i am. But the proclivity of wendy being in my dreams hasn't changed. I probably used that word proclivity wrong in that sentence, but i just wanted to use it. and i guess this is the first time she's been in a dream for a while, and by 'while', i mean a week.

I really haven't thought about her as much lately. But she still got into my dream. The setting for the dream was mr. bills, the other thing i think about so much cuz i'm there all the time. There was a band playing i think, which was weird. I don't remember actually seeing a band..but there were a bunch of poeple crowded around the front of the place like dancing and just being crowded. Also..."he" was there. "He" is the new guy she is with whom i've never met named dan. And this is the second time i've created an image for him in my dream. He looked different this time. Actually a lot different...but both times i knew it was him. weird. Anyway..that's pretty much the gist...the details i'll keep to myself. Although nothing sexual happened..just personal kind of.

and on a completely unrelated note i'm goind to cancun 5 days.

Nothing's changed. This blows...i feel so empty.

yo...can i get a cold beverage

what up..i dont' anyone reads this anymore due to my posting habits, or lack there of. Maybe Geoff. My brother has probably given up...my friends that i told about the blog probably have given up...wendy probably has...especially wendy. yep..so here's to you geoff...or jason..depending if reading this.

Running...it's been pretty sporadic so far. I was pretty consistent..only to fall under the grasp of "off and on". Everything has been pretty low mileage so far. I've been doing situps and pushups as well. Fairly consistent. Mostly i've just been working though. Tonight i made 57 bucks in tips....that's a PR.

I haven't been practicing guitar as much as i've wanted. That took a hit this weekend too...because i was in chicago. I had a decent time. I went to chicago this weekend because i was getting the feeling that something was missing. When i got home i was doing fine. I was running..and feeling good and doing what i wanted to do...and it was good. But then i don't know..things became tedious...i became anxious all the time. It just felt like something was missing..that's the best i can do to describe it. So i went to chicago...to see friends..and marissa...who is sort of my "girlfriend". Though i had fun while i was there, i don't think it helped. Well maybe it helped a little, but it definitely didn't cure because the moment i got back i felt like i was in the same boat. Work helps keep my mind of the fact, i haven't gotten too tired of that yet. But when i'm not at work, i'm anxious all the time.


Perhaps i need more activities to keep my mind off things i don't want to think about. No matter how much i can tell myself that i'm over something...i guess i know when i'm not. Just the fact that i'm not sure..or that i'm thinking about stuff so much tells me i'm not over something. I mean things find their way into my dreams for the sake of pete. That's when i know what it is. I can never quite put my finger on it. But i when i wake up after a dream..i know..what it is. Wendy. And perhaps i've known all along..i just try to block it out. This is new to me...and by new..i mean..i've never taken this long to get over something. Ever. I've never had several dreams about someone. I've never thought about someone so much in my life. I mean..i have someone in my life right now...but who do i think about when i wake up..or go to sleep..or while i'm at work..driving around on countless deliveries...(22 tonight)...or when my mind drifts while i'm reading...certainly not who i should be.

Ah..i've babbled long enough already.